Keep Your Cool—Even When Your Character 2 is Triggered
Category: Articles, | By: Dr. Jill | Share On Facebook
Feeling hostile? Then your Character 2 has taken over—or you have crossed paths with someone else’s. So, how can you rescue yourself after stepping into the firing zone of an unhappy Character 2?
I recognize my Character 2 as soon that part of my brain is triggered and comes online. Character 2 is an intense energy that is outwardly expressed as a surge of aggression, either mildly or severely. It is an expression of discontentment because we feel threatened by something. It all boils down to not feeling safe and being in emotional pain.
So, what do you tend to do when you come across a situation that brings out your Character 2? If it is your mother-in-law complaining that you do not visit enough, then you probably respond to her differently than you would to someone who is mask-less in the check-out line and just sneezed all over you. It is in these moments of choice that we can own our power to recognize the spiking surge of our own Character 2—and choose to call a BRAIN Huddle instead.
Although our societal norm has recently lowered its standard of neighborly conduct, and it has become more common to express our hostility in public, we don’t have to allow someone else’s Character 2 to trigger our own. If you understand that someone is expressing their Character 2 because they are in emotional fear or pain, then perhaps you will choose to take a BRAIN Huddle rather than automatically react with your own Character 2.
You are not obligated to interact with a stranger in public who is feeling aggressive and expressing their Character 2. And remember, two Character 2s in opposition will never come to a peaceful resolution. Yet, if you feel that you are either drawn into an argument with your own Character 2 or you try to ‘fix the problem’ with your Character 1, then take responsibility for the fact that you chose to step into the fire.
Taking responsibility for our own Character 2 is probably the greatest gift we can ever give to anyone (including ourselves). “You are not responsible for my pain, and you do not have the power to heal me. That is my job and taking responsibility for your pain is your job.” So, pay attention to those moments when your Character 2 takes over your brain and you go on the attack, and then observe how other people respond to you.
Notice who is aggressive with a tit-for-tat, poke-the-bear mentality. Those people are probably not an emotionally safe place for you, so you might want to reevaluate those relationships. Who responds to your Character 2 with their Character 1? These folks want to fix the problem so you will stop complaining, worrying, or whimpering. Who can hold the space for your pain and allow you the dignity of your own upset? Who is good at distracting you, and which of these characters do you gravitate toward?
Some of us allow others to help us shift our mindset, while others of us choose to dive into our favorite substance of abuse…again. I have trained myself to call a BRAIN Huddle in those moments of need. My Character 4 is my peace of heart and mind, and I love knowing that my Character 4 is always with me. The instant I call a BRAIN Huddle, my Character 4 comes online.
You have this power too. Peace really is just a thought away. Our number one job is to love one another—especially our own Character 2s.
For more information about the BRAIN Huddle, please visit here.
From my Cool Brain to yours,